Well…I have found myself asking this question lately.
I love (read:LOVE) being Deylan’s mother. It means the whole world to me to be his Mama. I did not know that motherhood would ever be as fulfilling as it is. At the same time…what ever happened to me?
Pre-D, I was fiery, fiesty, and full of it. Now, I’m bitter, angry, and frustrated. I guess some of the same emotions are there, and some of the things are the same, but I’ve changed somehow. I question how I spend money, I worry about comfort before fashion. I have since left behind the woman I used to be, and while I don’t want her back, I’m a little confused.
My world revolves around my family, which I love. I love to cook and clean and be a wife and mother. These things are so important to me, nurturing my family feeds my soul. But sometimes, when I’m by myself, I wonder…what do I do for *me*? I love to read, and do that a lot, but always after D has gone to bed. I was in school for a year and a half, and it was awful. I didn’t feel connected to my studies, it was tedious and pulled me away from my family. The reality is that I want to be with my family.
***To be continued tomorrow***
