I am in a world of confusion right now. My best friend and I have been missing each other, and a bunch of Internet-drama has made our friendship murky. I don’t know what to do…and when I don’t know what to do, I write.
So here I am.
I feel like I don’t really know a lot of people, but even moreso, like a lot of people don’t really know me. I am confused as to how the hell I’ve gotten myself into the mess I’m in. My best friend and I are literally like halves of a whole, but yet all of the sudden, we seem to be split apart.
She started an Internet group, and I said I’d help out as an administrator. At first, it was all pie and cheesecake. Well, then people got comfortable, and started to let their hair down. With that came drama, hurt feelings, and all sorts of wickedness.
As the drama started to pile up, so did the toll this was all taking on my life. While we spend a good deal of time on the computer in our family, it was starting to be close to every waking hour. Before I knew it, I was behind on laundry, cleaning, and everything else. All in the name of my Internet friends. Some of those on line friendships became offline friendships because we would talk on the phone, or send each other snail mail. For the most part though…it’s been all about the forum.
When drama went down that I was no part of, all of the sudden I was thrown in the mix of things I didn’t even have a vote on. And I couldn’t seem to get out, or ignore it. I didn’t make the decision, but I was still being held accountable for it, because I was part of the “Team”.
Jess came to me that day and asked me why I was dedicating so much time to a group of people who, while they were seemingly awesome, didn’t really know me. I began to question the same thing. The end result was because it was my best friend’s group, and that’s what best friends do. Well…I talked it over with her, and realized that I needed a break. What started as a break, lead to me completely stepping down as an administrator for the group. And then, all hell seemed to break lose. Everyone is asking what is going on w/ me and my best friend, because why else would I be stepping down. The reality is that all of the stress and drama of the group have lead to us not being able to be the friends we really are. We’re too busy dealing with other people to even be FRIENDS!!!
Maybe that is what really needs to be addressed. Maybe that is what needs to be said. That in reality, our friendship has been clouded by the drama and crap of OTHER PEOPLE.
I think that might be it…
