I guess you can only *really* be 20 once :-/

I went out last night, to see one of my favorite (local) bands. They have gone through some line up changes through the years, and it had easy been 5 years since I’ve seen them live. I have been aching for a good hXc show lately, as it’s been far too long and I really needed the release. I missed the last show, so after much internet research, I found one that was last night. Well…there were a few small “issues” with last nights show before I even got there.

1) This was Jess’s first Mother’s Day without her mom and that was really hard.

2) The show was an “all ages” show…which means kids. On my “kid-free” time. Which is really, really effing rare.

3) Said show was also at a junior/community college, which means college kids.

Now, I know that may sound judgmental, and I don’t mean to be. I love kids. I love MY kid. I love the kids I watch, and I certainly don’t have any issues with having children around me. I also have no issues with children being exposed to various kinds of music. However, hXc is notorious for being a foul-mouthed scene, and small children being around screaming expletives is another thing entirely. I wasn’t there to be hanging out with kids. I was worried enough that at 30 I was going to feel over-aged with the college kids. The “under 10″ set really threw me for a loop.

I ran in to a few people I used to know, which was both cool, and really effing weird. I think of myself as the same person, only having changed mildly. And then I see people I haven’t seen in 10 years and go, “Wow…uhm…yeah”.

I watched the band before them play, and while I appreciate their passion, it wasn’t really my cuppa (tea). Said “Hi” to Mark before the show, which was kind of nice. They came out on the stage and I was ready. Checked the set list and realized I only really knew 2 of the songs they planned to play. :-/ When they started to play, a small pit opened up and I stood on the side, braced and ready. For what? I stood there and nothing really happened so I moved away. The sound was weird and tinny. The energy of the new line-up was…so different. I tried my hardest to really engage and rock out, and for one song I really got into it, but even still, the experience came up so short for me. I know it was a laundry list of reasons that made it that way, and I understand some of them, but I guess it’s just really different now.

We ended up going to a bar (which, let me tell you, was WAY more amusing than I ever thought it could be) and getting some “happy hour” food. Then we went to a pub/club where they have a DJ and danced a bit. (Sidenote: Dancing in a strapless bra is NOT good) We got attacked by these cougars with “refreshers” (mini-face lifts) sloshing their wine as they begged us to come dance with them. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I was at home, in bed, by 1:30 a.m. It felt oddly good, like that was where I really *should* be. I had a great time…but I could have a great time with Camille in the middle of an old warehouse. Which leads me to my next subject…

Shabbat this week was so amazing and awesome!! In my quest for more observance I had been trying to detach from the electronic world and really spend Shabbat focused on my family, not just going through the motions of candle lighting and prayers. I missed 2 weeks due to plans (yes…I actually made plans for Shabbat and then *felt* it afterward. I never felt guilty, just *off*) and made sure that come Friday night there would be challah, friends and family, food, and wine. We cooked (soy-vey salmon on the bbq…if you haven’t had it, you need to!) and opened some wine. The kids played, D and I lit candles and said our prayers, and the night was absolutely blissful. The children didn’t argue or bicker, no one got hurt, and we broke off into different groups of conversations throughout the night that were seamless and organic. When everyone left (nearing 11:30 p.m. when Tesha and Bri went home) I was cuddled in bed with D reading a book. I can’t begin to tell you what it did for my heart, my soul, my brain…it was awesome. I left my phone and iPod off the next morning (I’m not there yet…I’m working at it) and had an awesome morning with my family. Complete with my son scarfing down the leftover challah. Speaking of challah, if anyone has a really good recipe that will make just one family worth of challah (2 loaves max) please share. Even better if you know of a wheat-free challah recipe.

*sigh* Somewhere along the way I’ve grown up. And, truth be told, I’m incredibly happy with where my life is now and who I’ve become. I just feel like I’ve grown “out” of that scene. Maybe it’s for the best? I’ll always love the music, but I’m not that same little girl anymore. What does grown up hXc look like? Is there a scene for the not-young-kids, not-over-the-hill set?!